To those who want to make it last

Look for someone who wants the complete opposite of yours

You: Do you want more of this food?
Him: No, I don’t like it.
You: Great, more for me.

Win-win situation for both of you. You might be eating each other, but you won’t be eating each other’s food (does not work on fries).


Make meet-ups always exciting

You: Hey, I bought something for you! I hope you’ll like it!
Him: Wow, is it food?
You: No, but it will still be inside you anyway.

But honestly, you know it works when you both get excited with just the idea of seeing each other (or food).


Don’t steal his fries

You: I’m missing one piece.
Him: One piece of what?
You: Fries, I’m pretty sure I counted it right. You’re dead.

We all know everyone loves fries so who wouldn’t get mad when you steal theirs (unless they aren’t looking, then go ahead). Empathy – put yourself in his shoes or plate for this matter!


Always support him on his choices

Him: Let’s break up, then eat the cat.

You: I support you 100%

No matter how crazy it is, give him the freedom to decide on his own and just support him all the way. I mean, you are one of his choice anyway (unfortunately).


Don’t focus on who is in command

You: I wear the pants in this relationship.

Him: No, I do.
You: Fine, let’s just take them both off.

Relationships last longer when no one is wearing any pants (if you know what I mean).


Get pregnant

You: I’m pregnant.

Him: Bye.

Out of all my advice, this is probably the most effective.


To those who want to be noticed

Get his number – but how?

Tip: Pretend you have an emergency! Tell him you need to contact someone as soon as possible. Unfortunately, by the will of the gods, you lost your phone. Ask to borrow his phone then text yourself. Congrats, you just got his number!

Warning: Make sure you return his phone or you won’t get to contact him, or worse you’ll get in trouble for stealing.


Text him

Tip: Tell him all the nice things you’ve noticed – his hair, eye color, blood type, and toe nails. Match this with yours and tell him how beautiful your child will be.

Warning: Prepare a lot of different number in case he blocks you. More entries = more chances of winning.


Wear your smell

Tip: Wear a very distinct smell – like fart, rafflesia or skunk perfume. This will make you very unique, and he’ll immediately think of you and only you when he smells this.

Warning: DIY your own perfume to ensure uniqueness and easy supply source.


Always be around him

Tip: Research and try to know his daily routine. When you got this figured out, suddenly appear out of nowhere and exclaim “Wow, what a coincidence! I didn’t know you’ll be in your room at this time of the day!”

Warning: Bring a bone with you for the guard dogs.


Flirt non-verbally

Tip: From across the room, wink at him at an alarmingly fast-rate (this ensures notice-ability). If you can’t wink, try to do it manually by grabbing your eyelids. You can also be creative and think of other ways – lick your table or chair while looking at him.

Warning: Don’t poke your eyes and brush your teeth.


Leave them anonymous notes

Tip: Compliment them or give them notes saying “Thanks for letting me do that to you.” Keep it anonymous and make them wonder what you’re talking about to keep them interested. Spray it with your exotic DIY perfume for a clue.

Warning: Don’t place it anywhere obvious, other people might get it (tip: stick it in their backs).
Share this guide

Tip: People usually share things on Facebook for a specific person to see.

Warning: Tag him so other people won’t misinterpret and think that it was for them.

To those who love

Before I entered my first relationship, people were saying that I should look for someone who will love me more than I will love him. Someone who will need me more than I will need him, they state it as a matter of fact.


Is it true that in a relationship there’s always someone who loves the other more? In a relationship, there’s always someone who is loved more? One is slowly dying from lack of self esteem and the other from guilt.


What does it mean to be on the side that loves more? It means that your self-esteem is constantly walking on thin ice water. To be on this side is to be in a relationship where you feel that you’re love is not returned, at least not the same way. To be on this side is to be on embarrassment and to realize that maybe, this is what I only deserve, this is what I can only have.


You start to see yourself as someone who is only worthy of being loved as the same amount that this person loves you. Then slowly but constantly, you start to love yourself less and less. You start to think that there is something wrong with you. If I can love this person with such passion, why can’t he do the same? Then you find yourself throwing your pride into the water. You feel sorry for your flaws. You feel sorry for yourself, because everything can be a reason for them to be unhappy with you. You find yourself saying sorry for every single thing, because you are afraid. Afraid of losing him, afraid of making him mad, and most of all you know that you need him more than he needs you.


Most of the time you find yourself doing the extra effort just to keep the conversation going. You ask simple things like “Have you eaten?, What time are you going home?, How was your day?” But you never find yourself being asked these questions. There are times when you feel like an interviewer, interviewing someone you really care for. They answer, and that’s it. Part of you wish he’ll ask you too, but it’s okay, at least you get to talk to him.


Then it can quickly escalate from that. There are days when you feel like you have to be extra clingy and make them feel how much you love them. There are days when you try so hard because you want to impress them. You want them to know how good you are, you want them to feel the same way that you feel towards them. Their attention and affection is the only thing that matters to you. But most of all, you want to tell yourself that you deserve them. It feels like your world is revolving around them. You don’t think about yourself anymore. You start to think that you can’t live without them and you can’t.


To be on the side that is loved more, is to be living on constant guilt. It can be an intense feeling that leaves you weak. To be on this side though, I believe it is easier to achieve the feeling of contentedness and completeness. You are on your own battle, this is entirely up to you.


The start may be perfect, you’re living the life. I mean isn’t the point of dating? Finding someone who truly loves and cares for you? At least you have this all figured out. Then, everything comes to you in a rush. He loves you more than you love him and you don’t know if you can reciprocate the same feeling.


You become unsure. You start to question if he’s the right one for you. These unconsciously seeps into every little thing, every little action. But you also feel suffocated, because he gives you too much attention.


You get a bunch of emotions, the self-condemnation, the indignity, and the fear. You condemn yourself, you feel guilty because you are unsure if you can love him the same way. You feel the indignity of being loved by this person so passionately. But most of all, you are afraid. You live in fear or hurting the other person. You know how vulnerable he is and you know you might create damage permanently.


In my realization, I don’t think a perfect relationship is defined as a relationship where both love each other equally. There is no way to measure love and it should be enjoyed as it is. Love is messy but I still think it’s a wonderful thing. Despite all this, love is worth it. I believe it doesn’t matter who loves more. It doesn’t mean anything. In the end they still love each other. Feelings are constantly fluctuating. What’s important is that the object of those feelings are unchanging.